20140307

I've Got The World On A String.

What a world, what a life, I'm in love....

It's been a party up here in the shadows for some time now.... If by party, one means that the demons seem a tad bit more chipper than usual...

About three months worth of research, a hell of a lot of sleep and pizza up the ass....

Fuck.... I don't even know why I'm even writing this...

You all are dead... imprisoned... or just.... gone...

Not like I should even give a flying fuck. You were all sheep to me. Mere rats that were only as useful as I would allow you to be.

But...

Hell I dunno...

I miss the arguments... the caring sentiments... even when I spit in your faces...

When Father grew irritated with the bullshit... with how the world threw Him into a role akin to a playful pup...

He took so many of you....

And I can't seem to understand why it hurts me.

Day after day I check each and every one of your blogs and see nothing more than another day added since you've last updated.

The cobwebs encumber everything now...

And I should be happy. We are winning. You all lost. Give it another year and Father will have everything under control once more and this little hiccup of rebellion will be nothing more than a tired old memory.

I guess it's as it should be.

And I guess I should just concentrate more on ridding myself of these emotions again.

Sigh...

Either way I've been ordered to move on. Moderating a dead compilation of memories is surprisingly a waste of my talent.

So I guess this is goodbye. To whoever is still twitching with life out there and not rotting in a hole somewhere...

It's been fun...

I'm sorry.

20131205

REinitialization. Step One. Laceration.

The glitches seem to be getting worse heh.

Is it me or is everything acting like a computer? Haha, I forget.

Whether I dwell within the matrix or not, tis time for a pretty blatant update.

Tis the season!

Christmas is in the air!

If by christmas they mean blood, urine, and rot.

But I'm pretty sure I'm not fortunate enough for that.

I managed to scrounge up some pretty fucked up lights though, they flash green and red.

Good news though is that my impressive goal of forcefully extracting samples from...

bleh.

Good news is that I've been tentatively serenaded into opening the closed doors of yesterday's trash and revealing tomorrow's.....

hmph.

He had me swear to keep my mouth shut and keep to my duties like a good little girl. I've failed in every aspect of the word. He doesn't even look at me with pride anymore.

So I have been sat down in front of a computer with only one rule and one directive.

Watch and listen.

And don't fuck anything else up.

.........hell my punishment hurt....

The man with crooked arms can't get to me though as long as I don't piss off Father anymore.

Which makes me slightly less depressed.

But I'm still left alone, even with Him looking over my shoulder again, everything that has happened these last... god felt like years... has been cut off from me.

It feels as though I've been forced to stop reading a book right as it got to the good parts.

I can tell it pisses me off.

But I'm not allowed to let it get to me.

Might be for the best.... right?

20130222

Post Trauma Rain Check.

......Cold, dark room /Check.
......Stolen laptop with damaged case /Check.
......Hackable wifi adapter within close proximity /Check.
......Half empty bag of stale cheetos /Check.

Re-initializing.... Corrupted data recieved.....

Welcome back to the fold, Anarchitect.

WE'VE MISSED YⓍU.

20130220

Strongarm.

Hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush.

I repeat that word with every thundering heartbeat.

Mind you it was the last thing on my mind for it to take me seriously and stop.

Now that would be rather counterproductive towards my inevitable end goal.

Rather, I prayed for it to simply slow.

To calm it's pace long enough for my form to slip by unnoticed.

I would much rather not incite a confrontation with the man with crooked arms.

No.

I needed to slow my pace, strengthen my resolve, and slink by upon the adopted paws of a cat.

Heh, even in the face of death, I'm playing pretend.

Let's hope that if I fuck this up, I can play dead.

Hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush hush...

I crouch down upon all fours, reaching out a single limb to stroke aside the askew hair of the imitation me.

She looked so peaceful. Oh so at ease.

Pity I must shatter her calm beneath my wretched evil.

A quick glance behind my back revealed the resting form of my enemy. Motionless but for the occasional twitch of many a finger.

I still possessed a scrap of time.

And with that my gentle touch upon myself converted quickly into that of ragged fingers twined around a slender throat.

Her eyes snap open, a sudden exhale followed by a broken gasp.

Panicked eyes set upon me and my twisting smile.

With a snap I drag her closer until our noses barely touched, My grip tightening every passing second. Refusing to allow her the sliver of time she needed to alert her protector and damn me to another multitude of months gagged and bound inside her skull.

My jagged teeth tear into the words I sent hissing through silken lips.

"I want me back."

The barest whisper laced with countless wordless threats and insults. I knew she could hear them echoing inside my head. Fuck, we were sharing the same goddamn brain!

The twitch in her muscles sent my nails digging deeper into her throat, point cut across, she stopped struggling before she started.

"Get your little butt back inside your gilded cage before I make you."

I flat out lied.

But I only needed it to scare her. Any chance of a muffled sound would wake the man behind me, and that would do nothing but open a doorway to more suffering.

I could hear our heart beating madly, due to a mix of my desperate adrenaline and her panicked horror.

She needs to break for me to win this one-sided test of wills.

And the only thing I have on my side is scare tactics. Should those fail.... fuck.

I drill my darkened eyes upon hers, gazing deeply into those two dimming spheres of innocence.

"Let me free..." I seethe.

"No." I argue breathlessly.

I shake her violently, unafraid of causing undue neck damage.

I want her to hurt.

"SET ME FREE!" I hiss viciously into her ear.

I see her resolve waver and I take my chance, thrusting her roughly against the floor, the back of my head cracking against it.

Waking the monster lying in wait behind me.

I can already hear the slither of claws.

But I had not only found my window.

I fucking threw myself through it.

I forced myself through the cracks etched into the walls of will that encompassed her control.

Flowing freely through the faded mental defenses that the man with crooked arms used to dethrone me from my own mind. Nothing more than empty memories to me now.

My eyes were set upon one thing and one thing only.

That of which I had myself wrapped around in a matter of moments, kicking the mindless child out into the cold and granting me control once more.

With a violent shock my body started and I was already using my thin limbs to thrust me to my uneasy feet. A quick twist of my neck revealed the bloodthirsty form of the man with crooked arms. The look of rage on his face the most disturbing visage I had ever seen.

I had beaten him and taken his trophy.

I won.

And oh was he a sore loser...

20121010

Surprise!

THe visual tear that takes part in my absence from the very thing we call reality. The threads unraveling betwixt the force of mental unwind.

Fuck am I losing it?

I'm locked in this mental spiral, an endless staircase spinning both ways into darkness. The only sounds are those of my own voice as it reprimands me for my surprisingly well worn arrogance.

I'm speaking riddles even to myself now. Hoping that by keeping myself dazed and confused I won't have to open my eyes and remember that I'm not the one in control anymore. That I'm just broken passerby painted upon the concrete of this unconscious prison cell.

I have no idea what is happening in the world outside. No idea as to what HE is doing with the child I had hid so deeply in this maze-like mind. Perhaps this is my long sought solace? Hidden beneath the guise of a self wrought retaliation...

It's only that I am restless, seeping through her slumbering defenses to regain an ounce or two of the control I used to have over a mere fingertip.

She shudders, and I'm frightened, as I hopelessly type this rotten mess of an entry into a dusty laptop.

He watches with a hearty smile as the shadow of who I am struggles so hopelessly against his might. His soiling touch...

I question whether or not I should simply give in. Let this fucker have at it with Elliot and let myself fade away into memory...

Not like there is anything I can really do anymore. My only purpose was nuked the second I became nothing but another enemy to my father.

Maybe it's time I return to sleep. My time may have ended, and I'm just too fucking stubborn to accept it.

My kisses folks, perhaps by some unforeseen debacle you'll be cursed with my madness once more. Until then... I rest, tis better than watching this shit.

Haha fuck that, I'm Anarchy...

20120827

OOC.

Okay, I really, really, and I mean REALLY, don't like doing this. Especially considering the fact that it ruins the flow of the events in progress and annoys people.

But seriously.

I don't know how many of you out there are having the same problem as me, but lately, due to the creation of a certain game (Slender), the whole internet universe is imploding with talk of the Slender Man. Now I admit, I've always felt like the whole mythos was an under appreciated topic that deserved more recognition, but now it's drowning in the limelight and I feel like the only person who's standing here helpless as something I've enjoyed for so long slowly die beneath the strain of so many people pointing and screaming and pissing their pants.

Mainly due to the majority of people who don't even peel back the surface and take a closer look at the culture struggling to strive beneath it all. Taking to countless youtube videos, facebook profiles, and by god... the witless memes.

I understand that Slender Man began as an internet meme, but not like have the bullshit his face is being plastered upon nowadays.

Call me an OCD bitch, but I can't stand watching people proclaim their knowledge of the Slender Man when they don't even know what The Something Awful Forum is!

I have issues, and I'm struggling to turn a blind eye towards all of this, but with all these 'celebrities', and I use the term lightly, fanbase upon childish fanbase is streaming over everything and I feel like the 'mainstream', yet another term I use lightly, is devouring this whole intricate web of terror and turning it into a parody of what it used to be.

Rarely does anyone recognize a runner, fighter or proxy. All I hear spouting from their lips are countless ramblings on "I watched pewdiepie play...", "I saw Tobuscus play...", "I watched Nova play..."

It's maddening for me, I may not have been following Slender Man since his initial internet birth in 2008 (I started early 2010), but it's become almost an obsession, from Marblehornets, Everyman Hybrid, Dark Harvest, Just Another Fool, Dreams in Darkness, and more leading up to the creation of the first actual blog of my own.

Maybe I'm just crazy... Maybe I need to shut up and stop rambling... Maybe this is a sign that I really should get out and actually live my LIFE!

I understand that my blog isn't particularly good, but that doesn't mean I haven't poured the best of me into it. Ahh, I'll just see where things go the next couple of weeks, maybe something will happen or I'll miraculously pull this stick out of my arse...

grrr, I ranted... fuck. Well basically, in a nutshell, shit's happening, so the blog will be quiet for a little while longer.

Sorry for taking up your time. Feel free to point and laugh now, I positively adore the abuse.